Naoto’s heartbeat had kicked up a notch. He had always been a close observer and admirer of the male face and form, and it was clear this man was better looking than most of the men he serviced. Of course, there were good-looking guys that came in, but only once in a while did one have a certain something that gave him that…feeling…

Firmly putting his attention back on the task at hand, he dared to work open the top button at Watanabe’s collar. A small expanse of pale gold skin peeked through…making Naoto suddenly itch to see more. To see what the rest of Koji Watanabe looked like. “Is that better, Watanabe-san?”

Now he caught the other man looking directly into his eyes. Watanabe’s lips had parted slightly and his breathing sounded shallow. “You have long hair,” he said, then shook himself as if starting from a trance. “I—I’m sorry, I meant please, call me Koji.” Then he covered his face with both hands and slumped over. “I don’t know what I meant.”

Naoto stared at the top of Koji-san’s head, at the beautifully-shaped fingers peeking out from where they were buried in his hair. How he yearned to pull the man to him. But he held back, sensing Koji-san might not be ready. “You have no need to apologise. If you prefer a man with short hair we can—“
Koji-san’s head shot up, eyes wide. “No! I’m sorry. It wasn’t a complaint.” His breath started to come in short bursts and his pale face grew even paler.

Anxiety. Naoto recognised the signs. If Koji-san was as work-ridden as he appeared, he was probably in withdrawal. It wasn’t uncommon among the guests who came here, especially the Japanese men. “Koji-san,” he said, keeping his tone soothing. His hands came up and he rubbed the other man’s shoulders. Through the thin white shirt, Koji-san’s muscles were wiry, though also a bit too thin. “There is nothing to apologise for.”

“This was so wrong. So wrong. I should be there.” The words tumbled from Koji-san’s lips and his eyes were wide with that haunted look.

“It’s all right, Koji-san.” Without thinking, Naoto rose higher on his knees and embraced the slimmer man. Koji-san was trembling as if he’d been outside in snow without any clothing on and his breathing had that choked sound Naoto had heard men make in terrible circumstances…like when they actually were dying…from gunshot wounds.

He rubbed the man’s back in gentle circles and tilted his head aside so Koji-san’s forehead could rest on his shoulder, all the while trying to erase the image of his lover’s gunshot wound. “It’ll be all right. You’ll see, Koji-san. I know it will.” He kept rubbing, feeling the wiry muscles of the other man’s back flex as his body trembled and shook. The poor guy was a basket case. It was going to take much more than a massage with a happy ending to help him unwind.

Naoto held the other man for what seemed a long time, rubbing his back and just simply letting his anxiety attack run its course. Venturing one hand upward, he massaged the nape of Koji-san’s neck. The man had a gracefully curved neck. Naoto had noticed it when unbuttoning his collar, and the skin there was warm and smooth. Not only that, but he smelled good, like clean laundry and soap with just a hint of male musk.

What a waste. A guy like this with such beauty, holed up in some office somewhere, driving himself insane over what was probably nonsense. Since his own father was a garbage collector, Naoto had always felt that Take Shimura provided a necessary service for society, something people just couldn’t go without. So had Lee when he’d stopped teaching at the university to run his parents’ grocery store in Little Asia. People always needed food. But some of the men who came here in suits, it seemed they’d be so much happier digging in the earth and growing things or building cabinets and soji screens. The man in his arms probably tapped on a computer the whole damn day. And night, from the looks of him.

Koji-san’s trembling began to lessen. He seemed to like Naoto’s fingertips on the tendons of his neck and on the smooth sides of his throat. Naoto resisted the urge to turn his face and press a kiss to the side of his head, but he did dare to let his massaging fingers venture upward, into Koji-san’s hair. Naoto’s breath caught. How sleek Koji-san’s hair was. He raked gently upwards and nearly closed his eyes in pleasure as if tasting a luscious pastry. Naturally luxurious this hair was, like Lee’s had been, sifting so easily between his fingers, teasing the pads of his fingertips with its soft beauty.

With each slide of his hand into Koji-san’s hair, the other man grew calmer. His trembling ebbed to a slight shiver and his breathing, thankfully, began to lose that choked panicky sound of a man in his death throes. It was only then that Naoto felt Koji-san’s arms around him, his hands gripping the back of his vest with the force of a man hanging on for his life.

Suddenly, Koji-san released him and sat up. His eyes were wide and still haunted, though he looked more sheepish than anything else. He took a deep breath. “Forgive my outburst.” His gaze darted back and forth and then he looked down, shoulders slouching again. “This has been nothing but a shameful day.” One hand came up and raked a second time through his hair.

Naoto sat back on his heels and watched him a moment. “What happened, Koji-san? Perhaps it would help if you tell me about it. That is, if you want to.” Some men just needed to unload at first, and he was used to playing the role of simple listener, too.

Koji-san heaved a deep sigh. “I’ve been forced to go on vacation.” Slowly, he looked up, eyes sheepish. “I begged my boss to let me choose a place to go, and he finally agreed. But I had to do it right then and there. He even had those security guards escort me all the way here without letting me stop to get a change of clothes. He knew I’d refuse to take the time otherwise.”

“What do you do?”

Koji-san pushed his hands into his hair. “Software engineer.”

“Computers?”

He nodded.

Just as I thought. Not unlike his older brother, Shin, who’d turned out to be a math genius by age five and now did some kind of work for the government he couldn’t talk about. Shin was two years older than he was and since Naoto could remember, he’d watched Shin get all kinds of special schooling while his parents let Naoto run wild. Of course, being left alone had its good points. He might never have met Lee if his parents had roped him in the way most parents did. But still…

Naoto gently took hold of Koji-san’s wrists. “Well, as long as you’re here, I can try to help you.” He expected the other man to resist him, but to his surprise, Koji remained passive, letting Naoto draw his hands down to his sides so that he could move in closer and undo more buttons on his shirt. He worked open the second and then the third, trying to ignore the invasion of intense heat in his groin as the opening shirt revealed more smooth golden skin. No undershirt. “You’ll see, Koji-san, if you relax and give yourself time to unwind, you’ll begin to feel better. That’s what I’m here for.”

Koji-san made a sound that was somewhere between a huff and a wry chuckle. “I don’t know how to relax.”

Naoto smiled up at him. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you how.” He undid the last couple of buttons and pulled in another breath. Though Koji-san was a bit too thin, Naoto could see that at the proper weight, the man was shaped like a swimmer or diver. Slim yet finely muscled, v-shaped torso. And those large dark nipples. Naoto’s mouth watered to taste them, to feel them pebble against his tongue…

Wordlessly, he lifted one of Koji-san’s wrists and undid the cuff, repeating the same with the other one. The tightening in his groin intensified as he slipped the shirt off Koji-san’s arms and set it aside. “I would recommend a massage to start with.”

Koji-san was staring at him like before, as if just noticing him. “Hai,” he said softly. “A massage.” He continued to stare at Naoto, letting Naoto undo his belt and the fastening of his slacks.
Naoto swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He perused Koji-san’s toned abdomen down to the waistband of his thoroughly conventional yet still alluring white briefs. It was actually the bulge pushing out the white fabric that inspired the lump in his throat and the itch in his palm to pull down the elastic and let the guy’s cock out so he could stroke it. But that would have been pushing, so he distracted himself with removing Koji-san’s slippers and socks so he could pull the man’s slacks off.

Smiling, he rose up on his knees again and took hold of the open waist of the slacks. “Let’s just get these off and then we can begin your massage.”

Obediently, Koji-san lifted his ass off the bed enough for Naoto to pull down the slacks and slide them down. It was difficult not to stare at the man’s thighs and calves, which, like the rest of him were toned in spite of their needing some weight.

“Should I leave these on?” Koji-san looked up at him and tugged the elastic of his underwear.
Naoto swallowed. It had been awhile since someone had turned him on quite like this. He busied himself with hanging the other man’s clothing neatly in the closet. “Only if you wish to, Koji-san. You can leave them on now and remove them later if you want to.” He smoothed down the slacks on the hanger and turned around.

And froze.

Koji-san was naked. Wearing nothing but a distraught look on his beautiful face.

Naoto forced himself not to stare, not to peek down at the guy’s dragon. Too late. The flicker of an eye caught the man’s partially erect stalk resting against one smooth thigh.

“I wasn’t sure what to do.”